Defining Masculinity for Yourself

What Does Masculinity Mean to Me?

In my experience, true masculinity lies in balance. A real man is someone who can do both; who can get not only his hands dirty but can confidently express himself. He is emotionally strong, a rock when needed yet unafraid of vulnerability in the moments that call for it. He leads with confidence while listening, remaining present, and pays attention to his partners emotions.

Masculinity is being secure in who you are. It’s becoming your “true self” through continuous professional, physical and emotional development. Working towards the life you want and being fully capable of providing for yourself and those youn love. As a man, I take great pride with being secure in my masculinity while being able to be in touch with femininity. I can dress well, paint my nails and still work on my cars engines, my houses plumbing and build my woman her dream closet. Security in myself allows me to present masculinity and strength in the ways I desire to be seen, while being fully comfortable of expressing myself out of the “norms”.

The Type of Man I Strive to Be

I strive to be the man I look up to. Simple as that. A man who embodies strength; not just in the physical attributes, but within character; discipline and integrity. A man who stands by his principles and is open to growth. A man who can be relied on, while knowing when its time to rely on others.

Who Do I Look Up To?

The men who inspire me aren’t necessarily the ones society holds on a pedal. I look up to my father, to various leaders I’ve been under, to authors such as Marcus Aurelius, Andrew Huberman and Rick Rubin. I respect the men I’ve encountered who quietly embody the masculine traits I align with; strength, wisdom, resilience, creativity and self-mastery. These are the role models I choose for myself.

Who Are We Told to Look Up To?

Masculinity, as presented in mainstream culture, often doesn’t align with my own definition. We are told to admire men who glorify status, material wealth and power; often at the expense of integrity. The media frequently celebrates men who cheat and treat their partners as if they are disposable, those men define masculinity through dominance rather than through depth. I believe real a masculinity goes beyond these shallow portrayals.

How Has Masculinity Been Defined Throughout History?

Historically, masculinity has always fluctuated, from the hunter to the tribal leader; from the warrior to the cornorstone of the household, masculinity has long been associated with being a provider and protector. Throughout majority of the 20th century, men were expected to be stoic, physically strong and unwavering in the face of hardship. While some of these traits remain valuable today, masculinity has evolved. The modern man must be more than just a provider or a protector; he must be adaptable. He should be physically strong yet gentle, emotionally resilient yet open, a leader yet humble enough to follow when needed.

Masculinity in Today’s World

Masculinity today is a balancing act. A man must know when to be firm and when to be soft, when to lead and when to listen, when to endure and when to ask for help. The ability to move between the expectations of both traditional and modern masculinity; is what defines a well-rounded man.

What Are Some Examples of Healthy Masculinity?

Healthy masculinity is seen in men who tend firm in their values while remaining open to growth. It’s in the man who takes care of his body, mind and spirit. It’s in the man who treats others with respect, who communicates openly and who does not need to dominate to feel powerful.

It’s in the father who is both a provider and an emotional support for his children. It’s in the partner who leads while nurturing his relationship. It’s in the mentor who guides others with wisdom rather than authority.

Defining Your Own Masculinity

In today’s world, being a man can be confusing. Terms such as “toxic masculinity” being widely discussed mixed with an increasing number of men raised without a healthy definition of what a man is. Defining masculinity for yourself is a challenge however it’s exactly what needs to be done.

Masculinity is not a one-size fits all concept. Its individuality constructed. It is about taking inspiration from the right sources, rejecting the shallow portrayals and crafting your own definition. Pull from history, philosophy and from the men in your life who inspire you. Define what masculinity means to you and what you want that to look like.

At the end of the day, being a man isn’t about conforming to outdated stereotypes or proving yourself to others. It’s about striving to be the best version of yourself; strong, kind disciplined, and authentic. A man you would look up to.