You Don’t Have to Build Alone

A lot of times online, you see the same reels of men alone—building themselves, disappearing from the world, entering their “winter arc” or “villain arc.” We’re sold this idea that becoming the man you want to be requires you to isolate yourself from everyone, cut out distractions, and “lock in.”

I think a lot of that is bullshit.

There is absolutely value in creating distance from things that aren’t serving you. Sometimes becoming a better version of yourself means cutting back on certain social activities, setting boundaries, or even walking away from friendships that are holding you back. But I don’t believe becoming a better man means doing it alone.

In fact, I believe the right people can be one of the greatest catalysts for growth, healing, and positive change in your life.

Isolation is a serious issue for men. We often pride ourselves on being self-sufficient, on handling our problems ourselves, and on not needing anyone. But eventually, that independence can turn into isolation. I’ve seen it firsthand—from friends in high school who felt like they had nobody to turn to, to people I served with in the Navy who genuinely believed they had no one in their corner.

And that’s a dangerous place to be.

If you’re a man trying to build your own empire, ask yourself: How was every great empire in history built?

Was it one man sitting alone in a room doing everything himself?

No.

It was teams. Communities. Legions of people with different strengths, working toward something bigger than themselves.

The same applies to your life.

Whether you’re building a business, rebuilding yourself, pursuing a creative goal, or simply trying to become a better man, having a few people in your corner who are also pushing toward something meaningful can be the difference between giving up and keeping going.

One of my favorite quotes from Joey Diaz puts it perfectly:

“You don’t need 20 friends. You need 2 or 3 motherfuckers. With 2 or 3 motherfuckers, you can take over a country.”

Obviously, you don’t need to take over a country.

But the point stands.

You don’t need a massive circle. You need the right circle.

It took me a long time to understand that.

I’ve always had friends. I’ve always considered myself a pretty magnetic person, and I’ve never had much trouble meeting people. But having people around you isn’t the same thing as having the right people around you.

Learning the difference was something I had to grow into.

Not everyone deserves your energy. Not everyone is going to understand where you’re going. Not everyone is going to operate at the same level of intention that you are.

And that’s okay.

That doesn’t mean you need to become cold, judgmental, or arrogant. It means you need to become intentional about who you allow close to you.

Find the people who challenge you to become better without making you feel like you aren’t enough.

Find the people you can call when you’re having a terrible day.

Find the people who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it.

Find the people who genuinely celebrate your wins instead of secretly competing with them.

Find the people who are building something of their own and want to see you build something too.

Those people are worth holding onto.

I’m incredibly grateful that I’ve found more of those people in my life today. People I can lean on when things get difficult. People I can celebrate with when things go right. People who remind me that I don’t have to carry everything by myself.

So, if you’re a man trying to build something—whether that’s a business, a body, a career, a family, or simply a better version of yourself—don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to do it alone.

You don’t need 20 people. You might only need two or three good ones.

And if you don’t have those people yet, start looking.

At the same time, take an honest look at your current circle. Who makes you feel more alive? Who pushes you forward? Who can you trust? And who consistently drains you, distracts you, or pulls you away from the person you’re trying to become?

You don’t have to hate those people.

You just might need some distance.

Because becoming a better man isn’t about isolating yourself from the world.

It’s about finding the people worth building with.

Choose your circle carefully.

Then build something great together.