Loving Yourself Enough to Show Up

The past few weeks, I’ve been in a bit of a funk.

Mentally, I haven’t felt completely there. Physically, I’ve still been going to the gym, but my workouts have felt less focused—more like I’m going through the motions than actually showing up with intention.

That’s not an easy thing for me to admit.

I’ve always prided myself on my routine, my discipline, and my ability to stay productive. So when I started falling out of that rhythm, I found myself going through a lot of emotions. I felt stuck. I felt frustrated with myself. At times, I felt borderline depressed. I started beating myself up for not maintaining the routines I normally rely on and questioning whether I was doing enough or if I was where I should be.

And I think a lot of men experience this.

There’s an enormous amount of pressure today to be great. To build something. To be successful. To have your shit together. That pressure can come from social media, family, friends, or—probably most often—from ourselves.

We all want to become something. We all have some version of greatness we’re chasing.

So when we fall short of our own expectations, it’s natural to feel disappointed in ourselves.

But beating yourself up doesn’t make you better.

Sometimes, you have to stop and ask yourself why you’re struggling in the first place.

For me, I had to take an honest look at my life and figure out where the frustration was coming from. Some of it was coming from my relationship. Some of me was simply overworked and fatigued. And some of it came from neglecting the personal work and mental maintenance that I normally prioritize.

I had let some of the fundamentals slip.

So what do you do when you feel like nothing is going your way?

You go back to basics.

Get some sleep.

Move your body.

Eat well.

Journal.

Read.

Meditate.

Get outside.

Have the conversations you’ve been avoiding.

And most importantly, take an honest look at what’s actually causing the pain.

Some problems are within your control. Some aren’t.

Learn the difference.

If something is outside of your control, you have to learn how to let it go. If something is within your control, figure out what you can change, solve the problem, or find another way around it.

That’s something I’ve been learning more and more: peace doesn’t always come from fixing everything. Sometimes it comes from learning how to move differently.

You can pivot.

You can change direction.

You can take a step back.

You can have a bad week.

You can lose your rhythm.

You can feel lost for a little while without being a failure.

And maybe that’s what loving yourself actually looks like sometimes.

Not forcing yourself to be perfect.

Not demanding that you perform at your highest level every single day.

But having enough compassion for yourself to recognize when something isn’t right—and enough discipline to do something about it.

Loving yourself isn’t always feeling good about yourself.

Sometimes it’s getting up when you don’t feel like it.

Sometimes it’s taking a rest day without feeling guilty.

Sometimes it’s admitting that you’re struggling.

Sometimes it’s asking for help.

Sometimes it’s letting go of something that isn’t serving you anymore.

And sometimes, it’s simply giving yourself permission to be a human being instead of constantly demanding that you become a better one.

You don’t have to have everything figured out today.

You just have to be willing to show up for yourself.

Even if showing up looks different than it normally does.

Because the goal isn’t to never fall out of rhythm.

The goal is to learn how to come back to yourself.